Saturday, February 18, 2012

Environmental Bullshit: PART #2

What the fuck are we gonna do? In Africa, Drought continues for the 6th consecutive year. Record Rain in parts of the US, the Middle East, and Japan, have caused some of the Worst Flooding in centuries. New England, and Northern Europe, have recently experienced the mildest winters within anyone’s recollection. It says right here, In Time Magazine. The weather’s gone nuts, and we Humans are to blame. We have Fucked up the Environment, and now we’re going to pay for it. Scientists are telling us, we’re heading into a new… … “Ice Age?” What? But it’s from Time Magazine. Monday, June 24th, … 1974. Oh Man, I’ve got to stop picking up 30 year old magazines at my dentist’s office. And that’s not a Joke! That’s the real article from Time Magazine from June, 1974. Yeah, 4 decades ago, pretty much everybody thought we had fucked up the earth with carless and selfish fossil fuel emissions. We were heading into an Ice Age! Now those same emissions are causing Global warming. But no worries. You may be a Carbon Sinner, but now you can buy yourselves a clean, green conscience, for Cash. It’s a new craze based on Eco-Guilt, and it’s Bullshit! For those of you who feel guilty about your impact on the planet, or want to reduce your carbon footprint, you can buy “Carbon Credits.” You drive a smog-blasting SUV, buy a few credits, and you are now carbon Neutral.

“In the late middle ages, the Catholic Church thought up a Diabolical way to bring in more Cash. They sent out Professional Pardoners to visit the Sinful, that is Everybody, and tell them that for a bit of Cash, their sins would be forgiven. Fork over the cash and no Penance, and no time in Purgatory. They called these ‘get out of Hell Free’ cards ‘Indulgences.’ And they Sure weren’t Free. The bigger the sin, the pricier the Indulgence. So suffer eternal Agony, Cut back on the fun of Sinning,… or pay the Fun tax. These “Sin Credits” were a big Money Maker until Martin Luther came along, and Cried… ‘Bullshit!’”—Penn Jillette (Bullshit: Episode 6, Season 6) What does this have to do with carbon Credits? If I have to explain the correlation… Oh, Christ.

Go Online, and search “Carbon Credits.” Go Ahead, I’ll wait. Google brings up thousands of Companies that offer the opportunity to buy Carbon Credits. Claiming they will Invest the money you give them in Renewable energy, or environmental projects (like planting trees, etc.). Ok, fine… but be aware that there are no Scientific Standards for determining the cost of your “Credit.” Carbon Credit companies make their own formula, and charge whatever they want. And there are no ‘watchdogs’ to make sure they actually invest that money properly. So basically you give them money, and they can do whatever the fuck they want with it. There is nothing to stop them from pissing your money away on whatever frivolous junk they want. The most Famous of these websites is Run by Al Gore. Yes, you can’t talk Carbon Credits, or the Environment, without mentioning Al Gore. It’s an EPA thing. Not “Environmental Protection Agency.” “Egregiously Pushy Asshole!!” An investigation done in 2006, by the Tennessee Center for Policy Research, revealed that Al Gore uses 20 times more energy than the average person. That’s right. The greatest American Eco-Hero, is an Energy Hog. His 20 room mansion used over 191,000 Kilowatts, as opposed to the average home that uses around 11,000 kilowatts. Every Month, Al Gore uses more energy, than any of us will in 17 months! So, Al isn’t as worried as he says we all should be. When this research was uncovered in 2007, Gore’s people didn’t deny it. Instead they said he was in the process of installing solar panels, and had swapped some of his incandescent light bulbs with fluorescent ones. What a Martyr! To offset the Damage he admits he’s causing to the environment, he buys Carbon Credits… from himself! Al Gore owns the website, and the company that operates it (Generation Investment Management), and makes money when you buy carbon credits through his Company. Gore started that private company in 2004, 2 years before his Oscar Winning movie was released. Kind of an “Inconvenient Truth” eh? So, what was the reaction to the TCPR digging up this information? Well, TCPR received thousands of angry letters, and Dozens of Death threats. To these people Al Gore is a prophet, and by exposing this information by completely Legal and legitimate means, they attacked their prophet. Al has convinced hundreds of thousands of people to buy Carbon Credits from his website, and is making a fortune off your guilt. Ever wonder why he is pushing all this “go Green” crap?! When you feel guilty about your carbon footprint, Al Gore makes a lot of “Green.” With all of Al Gore’s “Followers,” you’d think he’d actually done something, other than a Power-point Slideshow exaggerating the dangers of global warming. Well he did win an Oscar, that’s a “Science” Prize right? And he won the Nobel Prize for peace. Because prophesying Doom is… Peaceful? John Coleman, you may remember him from Part 1 (the guy who announced that “Global Warming is a Scam”), has challenged Al Gore to Dozens of Debates on the issue, but Al will have no part of it. According to Al’s Deputy Press Secretary… “Mr. Gore doesn’t debate Global Warming.” That’s a direct quote!! Hmm, odd. Is his position so weak and flimsy that it can’t stand up to a simple debate, or exchange of ideas? Sounds kind of like religion, doesn’t it. They don’t debate God, either. Wow, the similarities to Religion are uncanny.

A man by the name of Roger Revelle, you have probably never heard of him, is the Grandfather of the Global warming myth.  He also happens to be the personal mentor of Al Gore.  Well, he was.  In the 1960’s Revelle was working as a professor at Harvard University where he would eventually meet his young pupil, Al Gore.  He would Involve Gore, and some of his classmates, in the tabulating of data from a carbon dioxide study.  Gore was so impressed by this, he included it in his 1992 book “The Earth and the Balance” which would later become “An Inconvenient Truth.”  There is no doubt that Roger Revelle had a huge impact on Gore. But there is a twist! In 1988, Revelle was having second thoughts about whether or not Carbon Dioxide was a significant greenhouse gas.  In 1991 he co-authored a report for the new science magazine Cosmos in which he expressed his strong doubts about global warming, and urged more research before any remedial action was taken.  At that point Mr. Gore announced that Revelle was senile and refused to debate global warming.  A refusal he holds onto today.  Later in 1991 Roger Revelle gave what was to be his last speech at very private, very powerful, summer enclave of powerful men and politicians at the Bohemian Grove in Northern California.  There, he apologized for his research and for sending so many people in the wrong direction on global warming.  Revelle had realized that it was a false alarm, and that the science was flawed before he died.  He passed away of a heart attack in late 1991. so, Al didn’t do his homework; he just took what his professor said and ran with it. He may honestly believe in global warming, or he may be totally full of shit (I’m leaning towards “Full of Shit” myself), but regardless of that, it’s still just one man’s opinion, whether he really believes it or not. “Every bit of my Bullshit Detector goes off like crazy over Global Warming, and every fuckin thing Al Gore says. He seems to me like a lying sack of shit who’s wrong about everything. He seems that way to me, but my feeling on that is a ‘feeling’ and if there’s one thing we all believe (referring to skeptics) it’s that that’s not enough.”—Penn Jillette at TAM 6 in Las Vegas, NV.

For some of the poorest people on the planet, our being green can affect their survival. How? Al Gore, and his green Followers, are trying to pass new regulations and Carbon Taxes that will end up raising the global price of fuel. Fuel people in 3rd world countries need to cook, or pump water. Fuel to get their crops to market, their Kids to school or to a doctor. “When you talk about raising the price of energy to them, you’re going to kill people. Just like the environmentally induced ban on DDT years ago has resulted in tens of millions of deaths.”-- John Charles. But still, all you have to do is just mention Al Gore’s Name, and people will say, and do, just about anything.

John Charles is the President of Cascade Policy Institute, a free-market Think-Tank, in Portland, Oregon. “I don’t see the reason to Demonize Carbon. It’s an essential element In the Earth’s climate control system, and if we didn’t have it, it would be too cold for humanity to be here.” Yes, without Carbon Dioxide, our little Blue-Green Planet would be a little White Ice Ball. “97% of CO2 emitted every year, around the world, is naturally caused, only about 3% are caused by Humans.” All 7 BILLION of us! (Didn’t I mention this before? Oh yeah, I Did. But I felt the need to mention it again!) So if he’s right, and he’s not my only source, India, China, US Factories, Cars, Coal energy Plants, and Hummers (Not those Hummers), are generating only 3% of the Earths CO2. The biggest sources are Decaying Plants, Volcanoes, and Forest Fires. John was the executive Director of the Oregon Environmental Council for 17 years. So maybe he does know what he’s talking about. “If it’s an average citizen, some Mom or Dad, who wants to tell their child that they’re carbon neutral, it’s sort of about feeling good about themselves… to me it’s kind of like buying and selling Pet Rocks.”

This whole issue comes down to “do you know?” And the answer has to be “No.” We have evidence that the planet is getting warmer. We also have evidence that it was a frozen ball of ice 15 miles thick at least once in its past. There is evidence of periods of high heat, and full planet Jungles (oh, about 70 million years ago), and Ice ages as recent as 25,000 years ago. The planet heats and Cools no matter what we do. This ball of rock has been around for a little over 4.5 Billion years. And has been capable of supporting life for a little over 2.5 Billion. We’ve been burning fossil fuels for a little over 200 years. 200 years versus four and a half Billion!! I have a feeling the Planet will be just fine. In fact, it will likely be here LONG after we’re gone.

I know what some of you are saying, “Why doesn’t he just grow a dick, and say that “Global warming is all Bullshit’. “ I’d love to, but… I have a confession to make. I don’t know! Sorry, I worked on it, I just don’t know. I know that Feng Shui is Bullshit, and the Bible is total Bullshit, but Global Warming… I just don’t know. There is good evidence on both sides, but we haven’t been looking into it long enough to really get any definable data. There is evidence the planet is getting warmer, but we can’t be sure we’re causing it. And if we did cause, we don’t know if we can fix it. And if we can fix it… we don’t know how. We just don’t Fucking Know! But Cutting back our quality of life is not the right way to fix things. Shit…. I’m not even sure of that. One thing I do know, 100%, is that it won’t do us any good to buy forgiveness from an asshole who is making a fortune off your guilt. You good people who really want to help, if you really feel you need forgiveness for how good your life is, well… you’ve done your penance. You want to help, and that’s good enough for me. By my power, which is exactly the same as the Pope’s, and Al Gore’s, you are now all forgiven!

Credits/Sources: Penn & Teller: Bullshit!. The Tennessee Center for Policy Research, The James Randi Educational Foundation,, Generation Investment Management (not in a good way), John Coleman founder of the weather channel, and the weather man from good morning America in the 70’s), the Weather network, Environment Canada website, Bjorn Lumborg: The Skeptical Environmentalist, Jerry Taylor: Director of Natural Resource Studies at the CATO institute,, Cascade Policy Institute,

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Environmental Bullshit!

Hey! To my whole 2 followers, I’m Back! I realized I haven’t posted anything thought provoking since October 11th!! Holy crap! The research for this post took me months to gather, and with other posts still ongoing, it has taken a while to put together. But hey, here we go. I hope I’m not alienating my only 2 followers, but this is something I just had to get off my chest. I know damn well I’m probably not going to change anybody’s mind here, but really… this needed to be said. So hopefully it doesn’t piss too many people off.

This is such a big issue, and garners so much attention and media air time that I had to break it up into 2 parts. I will likely post more on this topic at another time, but for now, 2 parts seem to cover it. Like previous posts, I edited it down by a page or two so it wouldn’t be too much to take in. Enjoy Part 1.

Environmental Bullshit: PART #1

Every day, we are bombarded with the news that we are destroying the planet. The Ice caps are melting, Rivers are dying, Polar Bears are drowning, and Trees are doing something. I won’t be traveling the globe to get this information, that would be environmentally irresponsible. Instead I’m going to use the Internet, and my all time favorite tool, You Tube, to search for credited Studies, Reliable scientists, and Documentaries, to try to put it all into perspective.

In 1971, the first official earth day was organized to protest the impending catastrophe of Burning fossil fuels. The Impending Ice Age. Yep, Ice age. But I’ll go into more detail on that later. Now it’s 2011, and that same day is to protest the growing catastrophe of Global Warming. But is it the same catastrophe as it was in 1971? Or is it a different catastrophe? Or is it the same catastrophe, but now it’s REALLY a catastrophe, where as 40 years ago it wasn’t that bad a catastrophe, even though at the time they said it was. It gets really confusing, all this Environmental Hysteria. What I do know is… there’s some Bullshit here.

Scientists can “Confirm” Global warming all day long. Hell, I’ll even say it… “Global warming is happening.” But it’s not for the reasons you think it is. The issue isn’t that the planet is getting warmer, because it is. I won’t argue that the planet isn’t getting warmer. I’ve seen it for myself; the weather is changing over the last 30 years. The issue that keeps coming up is whether or not Humans are responsible for Global warming. I don’t believe we are. The planet goes through cycles of heating and cooling. In the 1970’s scientists were convinced, and the data showed, that the planet was getting colder. They predicted that by 2020 we would be entering an Ice age. Then in the early 90’s, they flipped on us, and began the “Global Warming” debate. Stats showed that in the 80’s and 90’s the planet was getting warmer, and everyone shifted their views. Now, since they can’t decide if it’s Global warming, or global cooling, it’s become “Global Climate Change.” That covers everything. That way no matter the situation (because it will change again), they’re covered.

“Most of the environmental movement is composed of white, middle class people, who are incorrectly telling people in the rest of the world what to do. Where people don’t live in nice houses, don’t have clean drinking water, and good health standards. I think the Environmental movement is basically ‘Elitist.’” – Patrick Moore—Ecologist, Environmentalist, & former President, and one of the Founders of Greenpeace. “Basically they are using sensation, misinformation, and scare tactics. The environmental movement was basically High jacked by political and social activists, who came in and very cleverly learned how to use ‘Green rhetoric’ or ‘green language’ to cloak agendas that had more to do with Anti-corporatism, Anti-Globalization, Anti-Business, and had very little to do with Science or Ecology. That’s when I left.” He left Greenpeace, the organization he founded, because they were no longer about environmentalism, but completely Anti-Corporation, Anti-Globalization. That should tell you something about the movement. When one of the founders of Greenpeace leaves the organization, there is something horribly wrong!! “It makes no sense to be against Globalization, when their main tools are Cell phones and the Internet.” Guess what, you’re a part of Globalization. You’re against globalization, but you use it every day. Cars and Airplanes to get to their rallies. Cell phones, Facebook, My-space, Twitter, to organize rallies. Banks to store funds. It’s incredibly hypocritical. You’re part of Globalization, so how can you be against it? “No one’s going to Listen to you if you say the world’s not coming to an end, but if you say it is coming to an end, You get Headlines. And so, sensationalism, especially when it’s combined with Misinformation, leads to a situation where people send gobs of money to these groups for campaigns that are actually totally misguided.”

It’s important to note that if you are “Pro Socialism”, or “Anti Globalism” or “Anti Corporation,” those are all very fine, Debatable, Ideas. But cloaking them in Environmentalism is Bullshit. Just say what you mean. Don’t say ‘Corporations are bad because the water is worse today,’ because the water isn’t worse today. I’m not going to say there are No good arguments for socialism, but the Environment, isn’t one of them.

“The Campaign against Forestry is a classic case of absolutely, and totally, misleading the General public. It’s true that we are losing forests in the tropics of this world, but it’s not because of Logging Companies. It’s because of poor people, millions of them, who are trying to make a living and grow some food for their families. The fact is, in North America, there is still as much forest as there was 100 years ago, and the reason there is so much forest is because we use wood, because cut trees down to make our houses. But the environmental groups have got people thinking that when you go into a lumberyard to buy wood you’re causing the forest to be destroyed. But in fact what you are doing is ordering new trees to be planted. It is something we have to do to in order to feed and house the 7 billion people on this Earth.” -- Patrick Moore. “There’s a tendency among Environmental groups to resort to Emotionalism, kind of 100%. To talk about how the tree is ‘alive’, and has ‘feelings’ and that ‘it hurts it when you cut it down’, and that sort of stuff. I mean, that’s pretty well Kindergarten talk. It’s not true. Trees are plants, just like carrots and cabbages.” But it’s tough to get money to save carrots.  One of the things about Environmentalism is that for years and years and years, these people have been guilt tripped for having a nice car, a big house, for sending a kid to a nice school.  I think that’s what environmentalism is today, it’s a way for people to get rid of guilt feelings they have about the way they live.

Another thing these Environmentalists will try to convince us of, is that we are heading towards “massive species extinction” in the next 20 years.  Greenpeace, and the World Wildlife Fund actually try to convince us that 50,000 species are going extinct every year in this world, when there isn’t a single shred of evidence for that.  99% of all the creatures that have ever lived on this planet are extinct.  It happens!!   They say that it’s all because of Logging, of course they love to blame Logging for just about everything bad in the world.  But, it’s absolutely preposterous.  There is no evidence for 50,000 species going extinct; the best science tells us that less than 1% of the species in this world will go extinct in the next 100 years.  People care more about species now than they used to, so when species go towards the brink of extinction, we generally put programs in place to help them.  That’s a good thing.  But to scare people into thinking that half the worlds species are going to die off in the next 50 years is absolutely irresponsible!!  The really is no need to spread guilt and fear about the environment, the solution side is to try to figure out how to do things better.  Not to have campaigns against everything in the world, but rather to have campaigns in which you are shifting from the way you did things before, into a new way that still provides the goods and services we need but do so at less cost to the environment.

Another point to be made about these protestors is “Do they really understand what they are protesting?” To answer this question, “Penn & Teller’s Bullshit” played a little prank on Protestors in Washington DC in 2006. They Hired an actress, and a film crew, to go around collecting signatures for a petition to ban Dyhydrogen Monoxide. H2O. Water. Yeah, plain old water. The protestors at the rally eagerly signed the petition without even thinking about it. The petition collected over 2000 signatures in a single day. When the actress finally tipped them off to what they were signing, they all had a good laugh and walked away. But, it’s important to note that they signed… without even asking what Dyhydrogen Monoxide was. They didn’t even ask! They just wanted to be “Joiners.” And that’s a sad fact about the environmental movement. Most people are just joining in order to feel less guilty.

“If you read any paper, you can read a lot stories about environmental disasters. But what you have to understand is Bad news sells! “--Bjorn Lumborg. Lumborg is Public enemy #1 among environmentalists. His Book “The Skeptical Environmentalist” pissed them off more than a Ford Excursion carrying only 1 person. I haven’t personally read it (I’m still working on ‘The God Delusion,’ and ‘God, No!’), but it’s on my list of books to read in 2012. “It’s important to get the record straight. If our understanding is Based on Myths, then we’re likely to make bad judgments.” And it happens to all of us. We get indoctrinated from about Grade 2 to believe that Recycling will save us from ourselves. We’re told that Garbage will bury us alive, and that we’re destroying our Planet. You tell children that the sky is falling, and they will believe it. And if they are never taught to look into it themselves, they will hold those ideals well into adulthood. It’s the same with Religion. You indoctrinate children to believe in God, Hell, the Devil, etc. and they hold onto that long into Adulthood, regardless of all evidence to the contrary. The Evidence is there, but people refuse to look at it because they are holding onto what they were taught as a child without looking at the data themselves. “What I’ve done here is tried to look at the data that we’ve taken for granted that says ‘Everything is going downhill.’ As it turns out… No it’s not.” His extensive research shows that right now, the health of the planet is improving on almost all fronts. And in areas where it’s not getting better, it’s getting worse at a much slower rate than in years past. So this guy looked at the same Data, and came up with the opposite conclusion. And that’s not the end of Bjorn’s heresy, he’s raised the ire of his critics because he doesn’t believe in just throwing money at environmental problems. “A lot of the environmentalists will tell us ‘if this is a good cause we should do it. It shouldn’t matter how much it costs.’ Using a cost- benefit analysis is somehow Immoral. It somehow put a price tag on Life, or a price tag on Birds singing, and that seems immoral. I can certainly understand that emotional response, because I feel exactly the same emotional response. But, my argument is to say the danger of the ‘doomsday is waiting around the corner’ is that we are prioritizing incorrectly.” But to even suggest a lowering of the Volume makes the environmentalists even more hysterical. “We need to get the debate back to a level where we say ‘hmm, this is a good idea, this might be a little better, this is certainly not worth doing right now, this is a very important issue.’ That way we can discuss this in a fairly level headed manner. That’s the only way we can ensure we get correct, and good, prioritization in a democratic debate.” A serious ‘Level Headed’ Debate. Unfortunately these things don’t happen because to Environmentalists, the Environment is like a religion. And saying anything to the contrary is tantamount to Heresy, or blasphemy. So a levelheaded debate on the environment is almost impossible. I know from personal experience. My closest friends, family, and co-workers have talked down to me simply because I was asking the same questions I’m asking here. “Is this all worth it?” And “Is this really going to help?” If it is 100% un-debatable, then why is the data so scattered, and why do so many people disagree? If this issue is infallible, why is there still debate? Because there always has to be Debate.

John Coleman, the weatherman from “Good Morning America” in the 1960’s, and the founder of the Weather channel, is a bit less friendly about the whole situation. He has gone on Record calling Global warming “a Scam!” He has put together a graph that compares our use of oil & Gas over the last 100 years, and compared it to the temperatures and the Sun’s energy output. Oil & gas continues to rise, but the temperatures are perfectly in concert with the Sun’s output, and the solar cycles.. “I’m only concerned about the frenzy, and hype, about something that’s a total Myth. That concerns me a lot. People are going hysterical about it. It amazes me how upset some people are, and how many Billions of dollars our governments spend of our tax dollars to combat something that isn’t real.”—John Coleman. “There is absolutely global climate fluctuations. We have little ice ages, we have warm-ups, historically the Earth as vacillated through all of these, solar cycles change dramatically, ocean currents change, and all of that has a significant impact on Climate.” “ The Sun is the source of all energy on earth. Obviously nothing happens here without the Sun. “ We were taught in school about the “Great Solar Constant,” as though the sun were a big Light bulb with a consistent output. That’s just not so. It’s a big ball of Hydrogen, exploding, churning, atoms are being fused together, and new elements being formed. This process has ups and downs; it’s never uniform. So it’s obvious that since everything on earth is reliant on the sun, our temperatures would increase as the output increases, and Vice Versa.

Let’s have a quick science lesson, shall we? The Sun’s energy output is never constant. It expands and contracts, several times every few hundred years or so. It does this during its normal process of burning hydrogen, etc. As it does this, it puts out more, or less energy. Evidence for this heating and cooling cycle has been found in rocks and glaciers all over the world. Yes, global Carbon emissions contribute to a “Greenhouse Effect.” But not nearly as much as you would think. All human emissions contribute only 3% of all Greenhouse gasses. ALL 7 BILLION OF US!! 3%!! The biggest culprits are Volcanoes; forest Fires, and Decaying plants. A single volcanic eruption anywhere will easily produce 1000 times the amount of CO2 all humans contribute at any given time. Add in, decaying plants and animals, Forest fires, Volcanic gas vents, etc. and the Methane, and CO2 levels go up, and down based on the planets natural activities, with very little influence from us. As our sun expands, it’s energy output increases sending more heat our way, warming the planet. It’s done it before, and will continue to do so for another 7-8 billion years. That, we have ZERO control over. As it contracts, and energy output lets off a little, the Earth cools down slightly. Every now and again, a bunch of factors come into play all at once, and we have an Ice age. A few volcanoes erupt, sending ash and sulfur gas into the upper atmosphere, blocking the Sun’s rays, right when the Sun is at a low energy output state, and … Temperatures Drops drastically and the planet freezes. It happened 25,000 years ago, and will happen again.

Stats show that we’ve had a 1-degree average temperature rise over the last 100 years, Globally. Yeah 1 degree. And data shows that, at worst, we may have a 2-3 degree average rise in temperature over the next 100 years. Seems pretty manageable. If humans with no Technology can handle an ice age 25,000 years ago, I think we can handle a little rise in temperature, seeing as how in the last 100 years we’ve seen the greatest increases in the standard of living in the planet’s history, greatest environmental improvements, and greatest productivity in the history of mankind over that time. “You mean my Kids will never experience -30, because they’ll be basking in a balmy -28? Oh, scare my Canadian Shorts Full!!” Daryl Makk (Comedian).

Trying to eliminate all Global CO2 emissions caused by Humans is like taking one kid out of a crowded swimming pool to reduce the pee! It’s Pointless. If the planet decides it wants to cook us, it’s gonna cook us. If it decides we need to be frozen, it’ll freeze us. And there is nothing we can do about it. So why are we wasting our time and energy trying to stop something that, for all intents and purposes, can’t be stopped?? It’s a waste of precious life! All this crap is just taking away the joy of being alive. Sure, there are things you can do to make things better, but it’s economical, and time freeing, more so than anything else. Don’t have grass in your yard, unless you need it. It uses a ton of water to keep it alive. That’s fresh water we could be drinking. And your lawn mower probably runs on Gas, right? That shit’s expensive! Instead of running your AC full blast every day, if it’s not too hot, turn on a few fans and open a few windows. A natural breeze will drop the temperature in your house a few degrees. Wash your clothes in cold water. Your water heater uses a lot of energy. It will save you money. A few ideas like that. But, that’s all. A few cost saving measures, but not “Planet Saving” measures.

No one can agree on what causes Global warming, or even how bad it is. There are some scientists that say it is not happening at all. If the science is that inconclusive, if it’s possible that the weather changes in the world are a natural process, then what the fuck is all this hysteria about?

So, the big issues for me when it comes to Global Warming claims are 1) Are we causing it? I think not, but let’s say we might be. 2) Can we fix it? Well, we don’t even know if we can. We still don’t know exactly what is causing it. We need to find that out first before we jumping to any conclusions. Without all the valid Information, you can’t make a rational decision. And, 3) Even if we can fix it, we don’t know how. But I’ll tell you one thing for sure, cutting back our quality of life is not the answer. We are not going to save the planet, if indeed the planet needs to be saved, or can be saved, by Driving Slower in smaller cars. That is not the answer. I really believe that in 30 years we’re going to look back on the environmental movement like Hoola-Hoops. It’s going to just look F**kin crazy, and we’re going to wonder, “What the F**k were we thinking?”

I’m going to end part one with a quote that I particularly like:

“Is passion supposed to replace common sense? We understand the desire to join up and do something important. It’s Sexy to save the world. But, you gotta spend a couple of minutes to find out if you’re really saving the world and not just being herded around by some politically motivated assholes who may not really care that much about the environment, but see this as some chance to raise money for whatever they think is a good idea. No end justifies the means of lying. Of course there are real problems with the environment. It’s a Natural thing to want to save the world. To be the Hero. To purge the corruption. To Lead the Revolution! And revolutions are essential. Revolution gave us freedom. Revolution gave us Science. Without Revolution we shrivel, we die. But when we feel the ‘Sexy’ instinct to save the world, we’re especially vulnerable. If we don’t stop, and do our homework, we can waste our noblest instincts on Bullshit. It’s easy to feel like a hero… it’s a little harder to be one.” – Penn Jillette.

Friday, February 3, 2012

The only time of year I actully enjoy Commercials!

With the super bowl right around the corner, I figure it was time to reminisce about the best of all time.  No, not the games!  Who watches the game anymore??  I’m talking about the best Super Bowl Commercials!  In no particular order, here are the links to some of the best from the last 10 years.
Bridgestone Tires Aired this one in 2008.  The Screaming Squirrel!
Ozzy Osbourne is classic in this ad for Best Buy.  “What the F**Ks a Beiber?!”
Snickers has had some good ones over the years.  Lately the “You’re not yourself when you’re hungry”  ads have starred some very famous actors and actresses.  Here’s a few of the best Snickers ads.
Prior to that, Snickers used the “Not going anywhere for a while” bit.  It’s a classic.  Here’s a couple of my faves.
The Budweiser Clydesdales are a Super Bowl Tradition.  Without a Clydesdale commercial, it’s just not the Superbowl.  This year we’re expecting a new Spot from Budweiser, so here are some of the best from years past.
Some of the greatest spots in Superbowl history have to go to Reebok for their “Terrible Terry Tate: Office Linebacker” spots.  Some spanned over 3 minutes long and took the entire commercial break.   Some of the best ever.  Check them out.
Pepsi has had some great ads in the past, here are a few of their best.
Here’s a few Randoms that I just couldn’t leave out!
(and that’s why dogs are Man’s best friend!)
Best Volkswagen Commercial ever!
Two of my All-time favorite commercials aired during the super bowl in 2010.  Boomdiatta!!
Ok, well that’s some of my favorites.  I hope you enjoyed them.  Enjoy the Super Bowl everyone!!  Go Patriots!!

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Friends: Present and Unaccounte​d for?

As the years go by, I noticed many people have come and gone from my life.  Friends, Family, acquaintances, co workers.  All played a part in making me into the person I am today.  Some for better, some for worse, but the people around me shaped who I became.  Some people abused my trust for their own personal gain, or amusement .  And some showed me true kindness, acceptance, and understanding.  The later are the people I call “Friends.”  If I chose to call you a friend, then you have earned my friendship through your actions.  My past experiences have made me a little untrusting, cynical at times, and cautious about who I let in.  For me it is truly sad to lose contact with a close friend.  They are people I admire, respect, and whose company I enjoy.  People who accept me for the Cynical, skeptical, atheist, jackass I can be at times, and like me for the honest, trustworthy, and loyal friend I am.  I  would hope you would consider it a compliment, if you are my friend then I consider you to be among the best people I have ever met.  I tend to hold people to a Higher standard than most.  I know what we are capable of as a species.  I know I shouldn’t be so picky, it has Limited my circle of friends to a relative few.  But, I can say with absolute certainty, that I do admire, trust, and cherish the friendships I have made.   Those cherished few have shown me Kindness, compassion, understanding, and been there for me when I needed a friend the most.  I can definitely say they are my extended, adopted, Family.

But sadly,  over these last few years, I have lost Contact with some people I thought would be Life-Long friends.  And for reasons I can’t quite explain, or figure out.  They just stopped responding to calls, emails, and text messages.  I would ask them to lunch to catch up, or over for a beer to keep the lines of communication open.  Seeing as when people age, their lives take them in different directions, and as you get older it’s nice to be able to reminisce with the people you knew when you were young.   Unfortunately my calls went unanswered, messages not returned, seemingly out of the blue.  One friend in particular’s lack of response seemed to coincide with my “Coming out” so to speak.  2 years ago I felt it was time to make it public that I was an Atheist.  No big deal for me if you believe in God, I Don’t.  In any case, that’s not the point I’m here to make.  Regardless of your political or religious beliefs, sexual orientation, or skin colour, I will not use that as a reason to not befriend someone, or cut ties with any friend.  Like I pointed out earlier, if I considered you a friend, then I hold your character in high regard.  But I guess some things are more important than friendship and loyalty.  Like your commitment to the invisible man in the sky.  Fine, I get it… well actually I don’t, but to each their own.  If my friendship was that unimportant that you can be my friend when you think I believe in god, but when you realize I don’t, my friendship can be easily tossed aside like last weeks left over casserole, then so be it.   I don’t need friends who are that fleeting, unenlightened, and un-accepting.  My tolerance is high, but if yours isn’t then I guess my opinion of you was wrong.  It sucks to lose a friend I have known since I was very young,  and I hope my suspicions are incorrect, but sadly the coincidence is uncanny.    I know Correlation does not equal causation, but until I get another explanation, I’m sticking with what the available evidence tells me.  It saddens me even more that this person, who I’ve literally known my entire life, now has 3 children that I will never really get to know.  Someone who I believed would be my friend for life, the brother I never had, has kids that I won’t get to spend any time with (knowing full well I won’t have children of my own makes this situation even more painful).

Another friend seemed to disappear shortly after my failed Kidney transplant.  No reason.  At a time in my life when I needed friends the most, some just chose to vanish into thin air.  I guess I had taken on a little too much baggage, and it was too much work to be my friend.  You know, visiting the hospital once to see if I was still alive, emailing to see how I’m holding up.  I just required too much effort.  I was very sad to lose contact with this person.  We had shared some good times together, and his company really did bring joy to my life.  I still hold out hope that someday we will get back in contact, reconcile whatever made us go our separate ways, and get back to making each other laugh hysterically, and killing each other repeatedly in Halo and then cursing the other for days about how he was “a F’N Camping Bitch!”  The hope is still alive that someday this friendship will return to the way it was.  If you are reading this Matt, no hard feelings, it would be great to hear from you.  You were my best friend in High school, and I do miss your company.

I remember another friend I lost a few years after High school.   It was Stupid how it all went down, but the principle of why I ended that friendship is solid.  I had developed feelings for a girl who was a mutual friend, and was looking for an opportunity to ask her out.  And, I had discussed this dilemma with said friend, “How do I get her alone to ask?”   But before I could get the chance to make my move, he moved in and made a move first.  First off, I had made it clear my Intention was to ask her out, and as a friend she should have then been off limits.  And if he had the same feelings, should have said something so we could have not encountered this uncomfortable situation.  So I felt I couldn’t really trust him anymore, and that was that.  I haven’t spoken to him since.  I know, it is stupid of me to have held that grudge over something so trivial.   But when I was in Penticton, I was still wondering who I could really trust.  I had been burned so many times by others that when it all went down I flashed back to all the other times my trust was betrayed and I was very angry about it.  I still think he was totally out of line, but now it doesn’t matter.  I have found someone I care deeply for, and wouldn’t exchange her for the world.  It’s strange how the events of your life seem to play out to bring you to a certain point.  I may never have met this amazing woman if things had played out differently.  So, maybe someday I’ll smarten up at try to reconcile the friendship, but for now, I’m not sure I’m ready.

Through all the loss, there are gains as well.  I have met, just in the last few years, some very amazing people.  People whose friendships I hope to hold onto for a life time.  They know who they are, so I don’t need to name names.  Different circumstances have brought us together, but I hope our mutual respect, compassion, and trust will keep it that way.  To all of you who have stood beside me when I needed you, from the bottom of my Blood Pump  (heart! :) ) I truly thank you.  You are the people who make life worth living.  Without friends like you, who knows where I would be today.  I sure wouldn’t be half as happy as I am now.  You are the ones who care about me even when I’m being that cynical jackass,  hold me up when I need a friend, and have earned my trust through acts of Kindness and compassion.  You are my rock, my foundation, or very simply… you are my friends.  Such a simple word doesn’t do you guys justice.  I rely on you when I need a friend, and I hope you feel you can do the same.  I feel very lucky  that you have chosen to share a bit of your short time on this rock with me.  I will never forget your Kindness.  Thank you for being my friends.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Drugs, Whores, and Freedom... Oh MY!!

This may come as a surprise… I’m actually making an argument for the legalization of drugs!  I know!!  Shocked the hell out of me too.  But I looked at it rationally, ignored my own person feelings, and this is what I came up with.  Point out all the holes you want, the benefits still outweigh the drawbacks. Any way you slice it, it still works out better for society, I think at least.  You can make up your own mind.  I ain’t your Momma! :)  Oh and I make a small argument for the legalization of Prostitution too.  I know… if there was  a Hell I would burn like a tire fire for all eternity.  But as we established earlier, There is No Hell, so  bring on the hookers, the Blow, the Booze, and the debauchery!  Just kidding.  But some 2000 year old rules, and a really crappy Book (‘Bible: God’s Big Book of Incredibly Bad Ideas’) should not influence how we live today.  It’s all  about freedom of choice.  Well… more specifically Freedom in General.  As much as I disagree with the use of drugs, and Crack Whores, there are ways to make both industries safe (or at least ‘safer’) for all who wish to partake.  It’s not my Job to tell you what is right or wrong.  But we should we should be doing is allowing you the freedom to figure it out for yourself.
Ok, here we go…
Just so we’re 100% clear… Marijuana is a drug, just like Alcohol, Tobacco, Nicotine, Cocaine, and Heroin.  They all have adverse effects on your health, on your Brain, etc .  Some more than others.  Prohibition was started by Religious whack jobs who wanted to control people.  I’m sorry but Prohibition was Bullshit.  I Don’t drink (much), I don’t smoke, and I’ve never done Drugs.  I am a Stone Sober Atheist, professional.  I support a person’s right to do what they want with their own body.  It’s yours, if you want to rot it out with drugs and booze, be my Guest.  In a truly free country you should have that right.  I always feel we should err on the side of Freedom.  As long as you don’t cause harm to someone else, whatever you do in the privacy of your own home is none of my business, none of your neighbour’s business, and none of the Government’s business.  If Watching CNN with a cup of Coffee, in a 3-peice suit is what floats your boat, who am I to Judge.  Or if A night of Hookers, Booze, and Blow is what does it for you, then too each their own.  I Highly recommend that you stay away from the Booze and the Blow, but I have no issues with the hookers.  Oh yeah, and that’s another freedom we seem to forget about.  It’s her Body, and if she chooses to have sex for money, it’s no one’s concern.  “Why is it Illegal to sell something that is perfectly legal to Give away?” –George Carlin.  “If you’re good at something, Never do it for Free!” – The Joker.  We should not be concerning ourselves with what 2 consenting Adults do behind closed doors.  Regardless if it includes a monetary transaction, or not, it’s still 2 Consenting Adults in Private.  People, keep your noses out of other peoples Genitals!!  Taking money out of sex is actually a form of Discrimination.  People want to have sex with attractive people, and there is almost nothing a less than attractive person can do to accomplish that,  “Almost” Nothing.  Why do Ugly rich Men have trophy wives?  I’m guessing it’s not because she finds Hairy Backs, Acne, and Sweaty Pits attractive.  Yes, some girls get into Prostitution as a last resort, or are forced into it, and it’s never a good thing.  Everything should be done to help them get out and back on their feet.  But in many places in the world, it is a profession like any other.  It is regulated, the girls are well cared for, and above all… IT’S THEIR CHOICE!  Even here in Alberta, an Escort Does it by choice.  They are very attractive women, and they Charge an arm and a leg for their “Services.”  If you want good service, you have to pay for it.  If you make anything illegal, it becomes seedy, ugly, and dangerous.  What if we were to ban fly fishing?  Then your father in law buys his flies from the Mob.  Is he a criminal?  No.  That is a freedom that was taken away from him, and he’s taking it back.   Anytime government steps in and tries to take away something that people want, they will do whatever it takes to get it back, even breaking the law.  Making things illegal that should not be illegal makes normal everyday people into criminals, and puts more money in the hands of organized crime.     
The point is, whatever I believe personally, doesn’t matter!   Not at All!   It’s what is right that matters.  I would love to see drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes Gone for good, but… that Isn’t going to happen.  People take drugs because they get the desired effect.  They work, that’s why people use them.  They aren’t going away, so we might as well do everything we can to make them safer for everyone.  Take the money away from organized crime, and Tax the crap out of it.  Regulate the dosages, and treat it the same we would alcohol at a bar.  If the guy has had too many… cut him off!!  I know, easier said than done, and I don’t trust anyone in the government to sit the right way on a toilet seat.  But regulation,  monitoring, and tax dollars, are a much better solution than Guns, back alleys, tainted drugs, and overdoses!  Another point on Pot, it’s not toxic enough to kill anyone.  There is no reported cases, ANYWHERE (in any peer-reviewed medical journal papers/Journals), of anyone overdosing on marijuana.  It cannot happen, it is simply not toxic enough.  That being said, extended use has shown in medical testing that it does affect the brain’s ability to process memories, and it can adversely affect the nervous system causing issues with motor skills.  But again, that is through prolonged usage, not your average “Take a toke on the weekend” stoner.  Legalization will take money out of the hands of Criminals, ease the burden on our Legal system so they can deal with real crimes (you know, Murder, rape, arson, assault, armed robberies, etc), and regulate the doses to keep people from clogging our already overstuffed emergency rooms with overdose victims.  We all have basic rights, and the right to be free and use our own body as we see fit is a Basic Human right.  It cannot be negotiated out of our own charter of rights and freedoms.  “Government big enough to supply everything you need, is big enough to take everything you have.  The course of history shows that as Government grows, Liberty decreases.” –Thomas Jefferson.   The war on drugs costs us, Canadian Taxpayers, over 2 Billion dollars a year.  I can think of at least a hundred things that money could be better spent on.  Health care, Education, infrastructure, The arts, Right to play, Medical research, foreign Aid, and the list can go on forever.  It’s time we, as a people, pulled our heads out of the sand (or our asses) and did the right thing for once.  Give people back their freedom.  That’s an amazing thing, to have the freedom to make the wrong choice is still freedom in its most basic sense.  I hate drugs, and I wish they didn’t exist, but I also want a toilet made of solid gold, a Mansion in Beverly Hills, and a Ferrari.  But you can wish in one hand, and crap in the other, and see which gets filled first. 
And, Just because we legalize it, doesn’t mean we’re going to have total anarchy, either.  The people who want to try it while it was illegal will still want to try it when it is legal.  And the people who are appalled by it, won’t decide that “since it’s legal, I may as well give it a shot.”  It doesn’t work that way (of course there are exceptions to every rule).  That’s like saying the only reason you didn’t slaughter your neighbor, and rape his daughter, is because it’s illegal.  That’s Insane! You know it’s wrong, and if it suddenly became OK by law, you wouldn’t decide that it’s a good idea, would you?  If you said yes, then you should talk to a professional very soon! So, we may as well make these activities safer for those who would make the choice to try it regardless of its legality.  If it was Legal when I was in High school, I still would not have tried it.  I knew they were not for me then, and I still feel the same.  But who am I to make that call for someone else?  It’s not my responsibility to tell anyone how to live their lives.  You are responsible for you, and your choices have consequences.  If you are properly educated on the dangers of these drugs, and still think it’s worth the risk, then I, or anyone else, has no right to stop you.   And there is another sad point in our education system.  Our Anti- Drug Program doesn’t teach the kids anything about the drugs themselves, it just preaches a “Just say No” attitude.  I don’t have Kids of my own, but I was one, many moons ago, and I know how kids think.  “Fuck you, I’ll figure it out my own self!” Or “What do you know?”  You forget that teenagers Know EVERYTHING, and really don’t listen when you tell what to think.  But studies have shown that when you give them the information they need to make an informed decision they, more often than not, will make the right choice.  But we need to give them that option, otherwise they will make their decision based on bad information, or NO information.  But, like I said, it’s your Body, do with it as you will.  But just remember, you only get one, so try not to burn it out too early.   Drugs are by nature dangerous, but with proper education, dosages, and regulations, we can limit that danger to manageable levels, reducing the risk of overdose, or death. 
I know this is a very touchy subject.  The people who Hate drugs want them gone completely, which will never happen.  And the people who use them want free reign to use whatever, whenever.  Also not going to happen.  We need to meet in the middle, find common ground, and make these dangerous drugs, less dangerous to use, and less dangerous to get.  Take the huge profits away from organized crime, and create a new cash-flow to help ease income taxes.  It’s not rocket surgery People!  Make anything Illegal and it gets more Dangerous, and more expensive.  People can’t complain to the cops that some guy with a gun Stole his stash.  An Escort can’t complain about how she was assaulted by a john, or her pimp.  And your Father-in-Law can’t complain about how that guy behind the liquor store overcharged for his flys that didn’t work.  Legalize it, and suddenly government steps in and can properly regulate the industries, clean them up, and make them safer for all involved. 
Anyway, What am I trying to say?  What is the message that I’m trying to get across?  Your opinion doesn’t matter.  My Opinion doesn’t matter.  This is about Freedom.  If we truly live in a free country then we should have the freedom to do whatever we want with our own body.  It’s mine, If I wanted to have sex for money, It’s my body and in a free country I would have that Option.   Again, It’s my Body, and If I wanted to rot it out with Drugs and Alcohol, that should be my right.  As much as I know these things are dangerous, I also know that if we want to be truly free, then we need to have the option available to make that decision for ourselves.  Lets clean these industries up, make them safer for all who make that choice, and let’s take the Profits away from Gangs, and use the tax dollars to help people.  Legalized Marijuana works in Amsterdam, and Legalized Prostitution works in Nevada.  And again, I don’t think I can say this enough, I Know what I’m saying. Let people do Drugs, and let people buy Sex.  This is a tough Sell!!  It’s not that I am in favor of any of it.  I Hate drugs, I’ve never done them before, and I never will.  I think Hookers are Nasty, and I would never pay for sex, EVER!  But, who am I to tell you what you don’t have the freedom to do with your body, or your hard-earned money.  You earned it, spend it on whatever you feel like.  Who is anyone to say that you spent 40 hours a week working a shitty job and you can’t take the money you earned and do whatever you want with it?  So, if we really want freedom, then we need to be truly free.  Every time Politicians make something illegal that shouldn’t be, they take away more of our freedoms.  Last time… I Don’t like these things, and would never EVER want to partake, but No One, absolutely NO ONE, has the right to tell you what you can, or can’t do with your own body, or In your Own Home (as Long as it doesn’t cause harm to someone else).  Not the Police, Not the Government, not your Parents, not your church, not your friends… not Anyone!  I can’t stop anyone from doing what they want to do, in a free country.  Just stay the fuck out of my house… the Stoners, the whores, and the Government.
Alright, I know it’s coming…  tell me how stupid I am.  Go ahead.  I know you want to.  I can take it.  I knew what I was in for when I started writing this.  So… do your worst.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

OMG!! The attack of the Words!

There is no such thing as bad words. It's the context that makes them good or bad. You can say anything, in a bad context, with malicious intent, not using "bad Words" and it is bad. But saying something with a smile, and no malicious intent, but using a word that someone doesn't like, is also bad?? It makes no sense! There are no bad Words, only bad thoughts, bad intentions, and bad people. The words are completely innocent.

Deciding that a series of sounds strung together to form a word in any language is bad is insane! The idea that there are certain sequences of sounds, that when said, would make someone uncomfortable for reasons they can’t quite explain, is a very primitive notion! The word dog for example, Du-au-guh. We happen to have chosen that word, or those sounds, to match that little yapping animal. But hen instead of saying dog, we say Ff-u-ck, that is considered bad. Also, the words we find profane change over time. In the early 1900s, the word “Humbug” was deemed a Bad word. 100 years later, a 5 year old will say it on the street and everyone thinks it's cute. Imagine what 5 year olds will be saying in 100 years. Today, Humbug just doesn’t have the impact it once did. We now say Bullshit!

Most people aren't afraid of bad language, or “Barnyard Vulgarity”; they just want it in their own style of infantile baby talk. Using the initials BS is ok, but saying Bullshit is bad. How hypocritical is that? You know what BS means, but using the real word is bad? Or how about Balderdash? It means the same thing in your head; you just think that it's more pleasant! These people think it's unpleasant language that makes the world unpleasant, not unpleasant behaviour. Balderdash means a muddle, or mess, usually of alcoholic Beverages. But now we are using it as simple ejaculation.

You want a higher form of Language? You want me to use better words? ... Ok I’ll try it your way. "You Unpleasant, myopic, impotent, despite!” Better? Or would you rather me just call you an asshole and move on? Perhaps it is the context in which words are spoken that gives them the power, or meaning. Not the words themselves.

On October 4th, 1961, a Comedian named Lenny Bruce was the last person in this hemisphere to be arrested for obscene speech. He said “to' is a preposition, 'come' is a verb", that the sexual context of "come" is so common that it bears no weight, and that if someone hearing it becomes upset, he "probably can't come."” He was eventually aquited of all charges. 2 years later in Los Angeles, Bruce was arrested again for language. The specification this time was that the comedian had used the word "schmuck", an insulting Yiddish term that is also an obscene term for penis. Are you kidding me? Later, in 1973, George Carlin’s “7 Dirty words you can’t say on TV” caused a sensation. Carlin was chagred with Incedency, and took it all the way to the Supreme court. Carlin (and the good guys) lost and the FCC (in the US) has used it as legal precident ever since.

“Government big enough to supply everthing you need, is big enough to take everything you have. The course of History shows that as a government Grows, Liberty Decreases.”-- Thomas Jefferson

I have a right to say what I want, where I want, when I want. And you do have a right to be offended. But you don’t have the right to tell me that I don’t have the right to say what I want, because it offends you. To these people free speech isn’t!

When you really think about this issue, these straight-laced solipsists aren’t asking that we control our anger, or that we change our behaviour. They aren’t asking that we treat each other with more respect or patience. They aren’t trying to be Nicer. They just want you to shout something they feel is appropriate when you feel like shouting. They don’t care about the package, just the gift-wrap. They don’t advocate peace; they don’t care if you speak with hate. They want only to change the exact words. As if the words are what make discourse hateful, or distasteful. They think the avoidance of certain words will signal an education. HUMBUG! It’s the words you use, not the ones you don’t use that show what you know. It’s trivial to hurt your feelings with the “Squeaky-cleanest” of words. It’s also trivial to tell you we love you with the most “Vulgar” Profanity. In Some instances, it even adds a little fun to the love. Marshall McLuhan was just wrong!! The message is the message.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

They should have seen me comming!! :)

Before I really get into the hard hitting, profanity laced, fact infused, dismantling of the psychic profession, I just need to get a few things clear right off the bat. One is a legal matter. Since I am really not hiding who I am on this blog, I need to be able to cover my ass in case of any potential litigation. Calling someone a liar, fraud, or a quack, could be misconstrued as Slander, and is thusly Punishable under the law. But oddly enough… saying they are Assholes, or Mother Fuckers, is completely safe.  Saying these were all  scams, could also get me in trouble.  But Bullshit, strangely enough, is Safe.  So you’ll have to forgive my gratuitous use of profanity, I’m trying to talk about the truth without spending the rest of my life in court because of “Litigious Mother fuckers!”  But really, when we’re dealing with psychics… shouldn’t they have seen me coming?

Secondly, I have to make it very clear where my heart is. I have nothing but empathy for anyone who is experiencing the loss and grief, of the death of a loved one. I’m a bit of a momma’s boy, and I’m not ashamed to admit that. And I’m very close to my Dad; he’s one of my best friends. I don’t know what I would do without them. Or, I can’t even begin to imagine their pain, if either I, or my sister were to die. I hear stories about people who lost a child, and my heart really does bleed for them. It’s never something you would want to happen to anyone. Or if one, or both of your parents are gone, I can’t begin to imagine the feelings of pain and loss. Harry Houdini, the first real documented de-mystifier of psychics, didn’t really go crazy Busting these Psychics until he lost his Mom. Once you’ve felt that Pure Grief, Seeing it exploited can take away your sense of Humor. Once our loved ones are gone, all we have left is our memories of them. My grandmother passed away a few years ago, and my memories of her, and the time I spent with her are very precious to me. How low do you have to be to exploit someone’s pure grief to make a few bucks, or to sell some fucked-up book? I don’t give a rat’s ass about the money these assholes are taking from the grief stricken. What I do care about, deeply, is the desecration of memories. The grieving person’s memories end up all fucked up because of someone else’s images.  All we have left of our loved ones is memories, and these pigs piss on them for money, and a little unearned fame.  I’m sure these lame fucks tell themselves they’re easing the grief, but “skits for money” cannot replace loving memories.

Well, now that the sappy stuff is out of the way, let’s Bust up this party!

I will tell you right now that 0% of what any Psychic, Medium, Tarot card reader, or aura reader, will tell you is actually due to psychic ability. Science can explain every single thing they do. This is a skill that doesn’t require any type of supernatural ability. It’s just a skill that requires a good understanding of Human nature, and knowing what your subject wants, and giving it to them. In order to fool people these “performance artists” use a number of techniques. The most common trick they use is called “Cold Reading.” It a process of asking for information, while giving the impression you are getting this information from some supernatural source, like dead people talking.  The Psychic will make a lot of guesses, and of course, the more guesses you make the better chance you have of making accurate guesses.  It’s a more difficult method to use in a one on one setting, so most of these Bullshitters will use another method, commonly referred to as the “Shot-gun Approach.” They rely on the better odds they have of getting a random “hit” when working with a larger audience. That is where another trick usually comes into play. It’s referred to as the “Question Trick.” The psychic will try to look very knowing, and then say something to the group like “Who’s Mary? Who’s Mary?” Or maybe not phrase it like a question, but word it as “I’m getting a ‘J’ sounding name, like James, or John. Does that mean anything to anyone?” And the believers will jump up, supply the information to fill in the gaps, and be very convinced by it. “He told me my Mother’s name was Mary.” No he didn’t, it was a question. Using these techniques, and by exploiting the grieving “believers,” they can fumble together a reading that to someone who is emotionally fragile, and not thinking clearly, would really sound like they knew what they were doping.  When you combine the emotionally fragile, and some good showmanship, the con artist is likely going to pull off their Bullshit.   The believers forget the embarrassing misses, and count and exaggerate the hits. It’s a phenomenon that P.T. Barnum made famous in the late 1800s; “People want to be fooled.”  It is now commonly referred to as the Barnum Effect, and psychics use this to their advantage, very well.  Part of the problem is the Believers are really wanting, no sorry, ‘needing’ this to be true, and that clouds their judgment, and rational thinking.  Honestly, if we were voting on whether we want this to be true, my vote is yes.  Who wouldn’t want to contact a deceased relative?  That’s a very attractive concept. If you were not thinking clearly or rationally, you would really want them to succeed, which is what you came for.  But you have to ask yourself “is it really so, or am I just being hustled?” These Methods have been around for hundreds of years, and were routinely De-bunked by Harry Houdini in the early 1900’s. And he was making headway into proving this Bullshit trickery, until his untimely death in October of 1926, due to Peritonitis, caused by a ruptured appendix.  Before he died, Harry and His wife His agreed on a code word, in the case that one of them died before the other (a likely scenario, but none the less, that was the plan). This code word would be to prove to the other that they were really talking to each other through a Psychic, or medium.  The code they decided upon was “Rosabelle believe.” Every Halloween, for 10 years after his death, his wife Bess, would hold séance to try to communicate with him, but no psychic could ever produce the Codeword. Even in Death, Houdini was the best debunker of Psychic assholes.   “Hey Harry, can you believe it?  The same Bullshit, you so thoroughly debunked almost a century ago, is continuing.  And even enjoying a resurgence.”  See, anyone can “talk” to the dead… Getting an answer, that’s the hard Part.

Psychics who seem to know a too much about you, are likely doing what is now referred to as a “Hot Reading.” As opposed to a “Cold Reading”, where they come in “cold.” They don’t know you from Adam. A hot reading is a little different.  It’s when the psychic has found a way to do some research on the victim Beforehand. Today, things like Face-Book, Twitter, and My-Space, are huge tools. Most people don’t lock their content, so a Psychic can go online and find out where you live, where you spent your last vacation, the members of your family, your friends, what type of car you drive, what pets you have, and so on. All things they can use to make it appear they are psychic. There have also been cases where a Psychic has hired private investigator to dig up the required information. It is a large up-front expense, but they know if they can be convincing enough they can keep a person on the hook for much more than they spent on getting the info. Another method of Information gathering is a hidden microphone in the waiting room. It’s simple. They place it under a table or a chair, and while you are there with a friend of Family member talking, they gather all the information they will need that way. The last and Final method of “Hot Reading” is a friend of a friend. It obvious that this friend has spoken to the psychic about you before, and thinks the psychic can help. This is the easiest way for them to get all the information on you they will need to be convincing. “Oh, my Friend, So-and-So, moved here a few years ago when her mother died, and she has been having trouble getting over it. Maybe she should talk to you.” Well guess what, that is all the psychic needs to get started. And they didn’t even have to work for it.  This method is mostly used in a “one on one” reading, because most of those are scheduled a few days, to a few weeks, in advance.

Taking up the mantle of exposing this bullshit for the last 50 years has been the Amazing Randi. Now James Randi of the James Randi Educational Foundation (JREF). "Perhaps nobody in the world understands both the virtues and the failings of the paranormal as well as Randi does. His qualifications as a rational human being are unparalleled" -Isaac Asimov.  Randi is now using his skills as a magician, and a skeptic, to bust psychics and other paranormal phenomena, using his foundation in Florida, and his $1,000,000.00 prize. It’s very simple to win. Prove you can do what you claim you can do… Win a Million Dollars! Approximately 250 psychics apply annually for the prize, claiming some form of psychic, or paranormal, power or ability. The 1 Million Dollar prize was first announced in 1996, prior to that James Randi had a prize of 10,000, then 25,000, 50,000, and up to 100,000, before forming the Educational Foundation, and raising the 1,000,000.00 prize (it is invested at Goldman & Sacks in New York, and can only be removed from the account for the purpose of awarding the prize).

James Van Praagh, is a psychic who has his own daytime TV show in the states.  One of the things he likes to tell you is how your deceased friend or relative got deceased. He’ll say things like “He tells me, before he passed, that he had trouble breathing.” Folks, that’s what dying is all about! You stop breathing, and then you’re dead! It’s that simple. And that’s the kind of information he’s going to bring back for you? I don’t think so.

These performers will say things like “I’m hearing ‘Electricity.’ He’s saying to me ‘Electricity.’ Was he an Electrician?” No. “Did he have an electric Razor?” No. It’s a game of 20 questions! Until they narrow it down to a point where they can sound like they know the person. The sad thing is that the victims in all this will forget all the misses, and exaggerate the hits. They want it so badly that their brain takes a hike, and they just believe it so deeply. They don’t just want it to be true… they NEED it to be true. Any thought otherwise would be to admit their loved one is really gone. And that’s too painful for them. It all comes back to the “Barnum Effect.” “People want to be fooled.”

Another so-called psychic, who has his own TV show, is John Edward.  Same deal as that Asshole Van Praagh.  These TV psychics have it pretty good.  They work with an audience of hundreds (shot-gun Approach), and those hundreds are all there because they truly believe, and are emotionally fragile.  Jon even gives a little helpful advice to any forgetful fan, “Bring a copy of your Family Tree to the show, just in case.”  Yeah, just in case one of your relatives you’ve never talked to, never met before, or never even knew existed decides they want to share a moment with you.  Yeah, ok.  Asshole. “Most of the misses people think are misses, are not misses.”—Jon Edward.  Riiiight…. It’s a hit, but the grieving are too stupid to figure it out.   Most of these shows tape for over 2 hours, then are edited down to 45 minutes to fit into a 1 hour TV slot.  So how come no one ever hears about those embarrassing misses they edit out of the shows?  Both Van Praagh, and Edward, have huge release forms, that the TV audiences have to sign.  Van Praagh’s, specifically is over 20 pages, and is the largest release form I have ever seen.  (It was available on line, but when I went there to make a copy to reference for you, it had been removed.)  The non-disclosure clause is very suspicious, to me at least.  You judge it for you self.  “Neither anyone acting on my behalf, nor I, shall speak to any media representative, or source, about any aspect of my participation in the series.”  What are they so afraid of?  It’s very unusual, and seems to be very protective of what goes on inside the studio during the taping of the show.

One Psychic, who I’m sure you’ve seen on TV, is Sylvia Browne, “The Talons.” (If you know what she looks like, you’re probably laughing) Sylvia charges $700, for a 20-minute reading… Over the Telephone! She won’t even see you in person. And you have to book ahead by almost 2 years. For that measly $700 investment, she gives you the names of your Guardian angels. Well without that how would you ever be able to function? And she tells you who you were in previous lives. Now, the JREF has hundreds of these conversations on tape in their library, and a pattern has emerged. All the men were once Grecian Warriors, fighting with Agamemnon, and the women were all Babylonian Princesses, or something along those lines. Nothing is ever said of a 13-year-old “Boot Black” in the streets of London, who died of consumption. He’s not important enough to be reincarnated, apparently. The one thing I find odd about these situations is that they never seem to call anyone back from Hell. Everyone went to Heaven, and No one is in Hell.  Now, Sylvia is an exception, in one way. She is the only professional psychic in the world to accept Mr. Randi’s challenge. She accepted it Live on the Larry King Live show back in 2002, and the JREF didn’t hear from her for 6 and a half years. She then said that she didn’t know how to get a hold of him. ??? A professional psychic who talks to dead people, and she can’t reach him? He’s a live, I know, I’ve talked to him (via Email, but to me it counts!) (Video of Sylvia accepting the challenge is available on You-tube.)  Another issue with this scary Bitch, she was on the Montell Williams show a few years ago, and was talking to the Parents of a man who had gone missing a month previous.  She was asked specifically “Is he still with us?”  Basically asking if he was still alive.  She responded with a simple no.  This absolutely crushed the family.  They then went ahead with funeral arrangements, only to find out a few weeks later their son was still alive, and living in another state.  This sent Sylvia into serious damage control, making up all kinds of bullshit to try to cover her own ass.  (Again, CNN’s coverage of this story is available on You-Tube.  And it’s very damming.)

Uri Gellar, a young Israeli, in the early 70’s, who claimed to have Psychic magical powers. Things like Mind reading, Bending metal spoons or keys, locating water hidden inside metal containers. Uri was scheduled to appear on the tonight show with Johnny Carson. Johnny, having been a magician himself, was skeptical of his abilities, and contacted James Randi to devise a test to confirm his abilities. A few dozen props were displayed for Uri to work with, and his people were not allowed to be anywhere near them. When he was pressed to perform his typical tricks, he was unable to perform any of them. And, as Randi would later show on a PBS special in the early 80’s, he was unable to perform those tricks, because they required hours of preparation (weakening the spoons, pre bending the keys, etc. All things that Randi would then duplicate using the same trickery as Gellar). Unfortunately, that appearance had little effect on Gellar’s career. But, as it tends to happen, his star faded, and he went home to Israel in the late 80’s. Uri has also never applied for the Million-dollar Prize.  (note: Again, the video of this is available on You tube, and I encourage you to view it.)

And the US doesn’t have a monopoly on Bullshit.  There are plenty of these Bullshitting assholes here in Calgary.   A google search turns up a few hundred, just in Calgary.  Funny enough, some of them also offer, astrology, and hypnotherapy services as well.  Wow, branching out into other forms of Bullshit, are we?  I’m still waiting for the same headline Jay Leno is waiting for, “Psychic wins Lottery.”  Clairvoyant Kim, who is consistently on the radio, is one of the local assholes that needs to be stopped.  If you ever hear her on CJay, her “readings” are so scatter-brained, nonsensical, and just plain ridiculous, that it could apply to anyone, and about almost anything.  I listened, and a few tings she said could have applied to me, or my parents, or my sister, hell, even the Dog!!  She just throws so much information out at once, and hopes that something will fit.  Like throwing Shit at the wall, hoping something might actually stick.  Which is actually a very accurate metaphor.  She hits rarely, but people so badly want it to work that they ignore all the misses, and focus on the one thing she got right.  At that point she goes for the jugular, and focuses right in on that one thing, and plays it up as the “be all to end all” of your life, and people buy it.  They should be embarrassed, and she should be ashamed.  I really wish we had the means to prosecute these Assholes, but as of now there is no section under the law to prosecute psychics, in Canada or the US.  But, in Australia, they do have legislation.  They can be prosecuted under Fraud, for charging for a service they are unable to provide.  Thank you Australia.  Hopefully that same legislation will be in Canada in my lifetime. 

If these psychics were really talking to the dead, why would they even get it slightly wrong?  Why would they have to ask you any questions?  If they were really talking to the dead, they should have this information, and should be able to supply it to us.  Why would you have to tell them your dad liked to fish, or was an Electrician?  Or, that your Grandmother made amazing sugar cookies?  Why wouldn’t your mom, who was smart and funny, and sharp-witted, suddenly not remember 1 or 2 letters of her own name?  These psychic assholes are making you do all the work, put the information together in your head which ever way fits best to what you want to hear, and then taking all the credit.   When you’re vulnerable, and looking for answers, there is always someone there willing to sell you one.

So, obviously, psychics are, always have been, and always will be… BULLSHIT! One of the weird things Houdini discovered was that some of these Mediums actually fall into believing their own Bullshit. They forget their own misses, or even worse, write them off as hits that “we’re just not able to recognize.” Cold Reading can be done accidentally, but that doesn’t mean that the psychic is a better person. Lying to themselves does not make lying to others OK. It can make intellectually lazy scumbags, more convincing and dangerous. But even if these fucks know they’re just making this shit up, and pushing peoples buttons, they tell themselves “At least I’m comforting the bereaved.” Who the fuck are they to decide that lying about the universe, and dead loved one, is what the bereaved needs? That’s condescending Bullshit! There’s a very good reason for all the audience contracts they have to stop the victims from talking after they leave the show. When the pressure is off, and grieving relative gets a chance to think, some of them figure it out. Given a minute to think about it, this shit is pretty easy to figure. We’re all vulnerable, but no, we’re not all suckers. The pain can be great, and we can want to believe, but there’s hope that we can be strong enough to climb out of the bullshit superstitions that have drained away some of our Humanity. You don’t heal a broken heart by pretending it’s not broken.

Sources: CNN The Larry King Live Show; The James Randi Educational Foundation; Penn & Teller’s Bulllshit, James Randi: Psychic Investigator; Skeptic Magazine; The Skeptical inquirer; The International Center for Inquiry (paranormal Investigators); The Center for Inquiry West.